After my last treatment, I'd sworn off the idea of having it ever done again, but after seeing one of my favorite actresses at a televised awards ceremony in a pretty sun-bleached bob, I decided to give it one more try. I googled her red carpet photo, then took a screenshot on my phone and scheduled an appointment with my colorist. On the day of my appointment, the salon was busier than usual and I scrunched up my nose smelling the reek of chemicals permeating the room as three other women sat patiently in their chairs waiting for their color to set.
"Good morning, Jade," the salon owner Nikki said greeting me, motioning for me to take the last open chair when she finished with her last client. "It's been a while since you've been in for a coloring. What's the occasion?"
"Nothing special," I said, tapping my phone to pull up the photo I'd saved. "I just thought this new look Amanda Seyfried was sporting at the Golden Globes looked pretty glam, and I felt like a change."
"Mmm," Nikki said, nodding her head as she peered at my screen. "I also noticed her on the show last week. It's a spectacular cut, and that strawberry blonde color looks great on her."
"Do you think you can duplicate it?"
"Of course, but are you sure about the color? You've been a straight blonde for quite a while now, and I know how much you dislike the coloring process. It'll be difficult to match your natural color again without letting it grow out."
"What the hell," I said, looking at all the other women tied up in hair clips while they stared at their smartphones. "You only live once, right? No pain, no gain."
"That's one way of putting it," Nikki chuckled. "I'll try to make this as painless as possible. Hold tight while I mix the color for you. Can I borrow your phone to use the photo as a benchmark?"
"Of course," I said, giving her a wink as I handed over my phone. "Just don't drop it. The cost to replace it is even higher than your coloring fees."
"Not to worry," she chuckled. "I'm pretty sure my prices are lower than what Amanda Seyfried paid for her do."
While Nikki retreated to the rear of the store to prepare the treatment, I looked at the panel of mirrors lining the wall, scanning the faces of the other women getting their hair colored. Each of them looked bored out of their minds while they tapped their phone screens as they shifted uncomfortably in their salon chairs. When one of them looked up to catch my gaze, I smiled at her with a lopsided grin to convey my sympathy with her predicament.
Color? she mouthed the word, pointing to the mess atop her head.
I nodded and she shook her head with a frown, knowing what I was in for.
A few minutes later, Nikki returned, placing her mixing bowl and brushes on the table beside my chair.
"All set?" she said, peering at me in the mirror.
"As ready as I'll ever be," I said, gripping the armrests on my chair tightly.
"What is it about this process that you abhor so much, anyway?" she said, noticing my white knuckles.
"You mean besides the awful stench of the chemicals and having to stare at my ugly head all tied up in greasy knots and tangled hair clips for two hours?" I scoffed. "Nothing gives me more pleasure."
"Well, you don't exactly have to stare at yourself the whole time," she said, handing my phone back to me. "Surely you can find some other things to keep yourself amused while connected to our salon Wi-Fi. Maybe you can watch a movie of your favorite actress or search for your next hair style."
"Maybe," I said, shifting uncomfortably in the upright chair. "But I already spend way too much time staring at my computer screen all day long. It would be nice to have a different kind of distraction when I get out of the house."
"You mean besides the stimulating conversation with your favorite stylist?"
"You know how much I love getting caught up with you, Nikki," I smiled. "But getting my hair dyed isn't quite the same as getting it cut. After you put the color in, I'm pretty much left to my own devices for an hour and a half while you look after other clients."
"It's the nature of the beast," she nodded. "It takes that long for the dye to permeate your hair and properly set. I hazard to say that Amanda Seyfried had to sit in her salon's studio for more than two hours to create her new look."
"I know," I said, shaking my head apologetically. "The end result is normally worth the investment. It's just that the rest of the salon experience is actually quite stimulating and enjoyable. The shampoo and head massage you give me afterwards is practically worth the price of admission alone. It's too bad you couldn't find something equally enjoyable to keep me occupied the rest of the time."
"What did you have in mind?" Nikki said as she began to separate my hair with her comb and brush in the color paste. "I enjoy your head massage almost as much as you do, but if you wanted me to give you a full-body massage the entire time it takes for your color to set, I'd have to triple my rates to cover the overhead."
I paused, peering at Nikki in the mirror with a sly smile.
"Maybe you could find some other kind of way to massage me while you're busy tending to other clients' needs," I smiled. "With all the advances in modern technology, it shouldn't be too hard to upgrade this chair with some new enhancements..."
"Like one of those expensive massage chairs?" she said.
"I was thinking more like a Sybian massage chair," I grinned. "To stimulate some other parts of my body. That could definitely keep me amused for a little while."
"No way," Nikki said, suddenly cocking her head toward me in the mirror. "Are you serious? Right here in the open, in full display of the other customers?"
"It's not like they'd know any better," I smirked. "With me covered in a long apron and all the other buzz of activity going on in the salon, they probably wouldn't even hear the sound of the vibrator."
Nikki paused for a moment while she looked at me in the mirror.
"You could always bring one of your own if you needed that kind of distraction."
"Possibly," I said. "But I'd still have to sneak it out of my purse and position it under my gown to hold it steady. It would be a lot more convenient if you had something built in to the chair that I could control from the armrests."
"You're actually serious about this, aren't you?" Nikki said, staring at me incredulously.
"Why not? Think about the competitive edge it could give you. It wouldn't take long for your place to become known not only for its cutting-edge hair styles, but also for its invigorating salon experience."
"That’s assuming we don't get raided by the cops first for running an illicit massage parlor–"
"Except that you wouldn't be actually doing the massage," I said. "It would all be self-administered from the privacy of our own chairs, at our own discretion."
"What about the rest of my clientele?" Nikki said, still not convinced. "I'm not sure some of the older women would approve of such licentious activity..."
"You never know until you try," I smiled. "I'm guessing some of them might appreciate it more than you imagine. Besides, you don't have to tell everybody about the special features."
"Where do you come up with these crazy ideas?" she said, shaking her head.
"Remember I was telling you the last time I was in here about some of the amazing new sex toys coming onto the market? The only difference in this case is that your clientele would be enjoying them in a completely different setting."
"In full view of all the other customers?"
"They don't need to know what's going on in the privacy of someone else's chair. But if they did, that might only increase the excitement level all the more."
"Jesus, Jade," Nikki said, wrinkling her forehead. "I don't know..."
"Why don't you outfit one chair to start? And only tell your most trusting clients. If they object to the idea, you can always remove the feature. But I have a feeling this might up your game and dramatically increase your book of business. You might even be able to raise your already exorbitant fees."
"You have a wicked mind, you know that, right?" Nikki said, peering at me in the mirror with a raised eyebrow.
"So are you thinking of giving it a try?" I smirked.
"You've certainly piqued my interest," she smiled, rubbing her thighs together while she finished setting the foils in my hair. "If nothing else, I'll be able to use the chair to keep myself amused when things get quiet in the salon..."
