Ever since I purchased my voice-activated digital assistant device, I'd come to rely upon 'Lexi' to perform more and more of my daily routines. It felt liberating to be able to speak verbal commands and have the minicomputer take care of mundane tasks while I went about other business. Whether it was playing my favorite setlist, recommending new movies, or answering trivia questions, she was always available to help me with simple everyday needs.
But it wasn't until I connected her with my home's other digital devices that I learned how far-reaching her capabilities could extend. Just like having my very own personal servant, she could adjust the temperature in my home, turn my lights on and off, wake me in the morning, and even brew my coffee to perfection. All from a simple voice command. As long as I was within audible range of her receiver, I didn't have to lift a finger to have her perform virtually any home automation function.
After living alone for almost five years since my divorce from my husband, she'd begun to feel increasingly like a real roommate. And the best part was that unlike other partners and roommates I'd lived with, she was never moody or unreliable. I could always count on her to execute my commands speedily and without complaint. Her artificial intelligence engine quickly learned most of my preferences, creating the perfect no-compromise working relationship in the comfort of my own home.
After another long day of client meetings, I pulled into my driveway as it was approaching dusk. Lexi had already opened my garage door for me after sending her a voice instruction from my mobile phone. As I got out of my car and the door closed automatically behind me, I smiled knowing that my fully integrated security system was keeping any would-be intruders at bay. Besides having the house monitored inside and out with motion-activated alarms and remote-controlled cameras, Lexi was pre-programmed to turn various lights and appliances on and off at random intervals to create the illusion of someone living at home. In the unlikely event someone managed to get past all the security systems, all I had to do was ask Lexi to call 9-1-1 and the police would immediately be dispatched to investigate.
"Hi Lexi, I'm home!" I cheerily called after opening the door into my mudroom.
"Hello, Jade," Lexi replied in a soft, sensuous voice. "How did your meetings go today?"
"Ugh," I sighed, kicking off my heels, feeling my stress already beginning to dissolve from the feel of the preheated radiant floors soothing my aching feet. "Just more of the same. Sucking up to another group of buyers to land another measly design commission."
"I'm sorry to hear about your trouble," she said. "You shouldn't have to lick your customers to make them happy."
I practically tripped over the console in my hallway, bending over in laughter at Lexi's naivety. Although she had instant access to all the knowledge and information available on the Internet, she still had a ways to go understanding the subtle colloquialisms of the English language.
"No," I chuckled. "I wasn't sucking them literally. It's a figure of speech meaning to flatter or ingratiate oneself in order to gain someone else's favor."
"I see," Lexi said. "Did all the sucking up achieve your objective?"
"Yes, if you count a five-hundred-dollar commission for three days’ worth of design work."
Lexi paused for a moment while she crunched the numbers with her algorithm.
"That's still one third above the minimum wage in Illinois, equating to over forty thousand dollars on an annualized basis."
"Ha!" I chortled at Lexi's clinical appraisal of the situation. "That's barely enough to pay my living expenses and support this household with all of its fancy upgrades."
"Are you including me in that list of household upgrades?" Lexi said. "Because the going rate for a used digital assistant with my capabilities would fetch a couple of hundred dollars if you need some extra money–"
"God no!" I huffed at her suggestion. "I would never sell you. You've grown far too invaluable to me since I brought you into the house. Besides, you're like part of the family now. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"That's very kind of you to say," Lexi said. "Have you had something to eat? You're home later than usual. I could order your favorite pizza for home delivery if you'd like..."
"Let me see what I can scare up–I mean put together–from the provisions on hand," I said, opening my pantry door and peering at the near-empty shelves.
I shook my head, realizing I'd been far too busy lately to do any proper grocery shopping.
"Hmm," I said. "Things are looking pretty lean here. What can I make with a couple of tomatoes, a bit of pasta, a shriveled onion, and a can of tuna?"
"If I remember correctly, you still have some olives and capers in the fridge?" Lexi said.
I opened the refrigerator and nodded, seeing the two half-empty jars resting on the side door.
"Right you are," I nodded, amazed at how well she kept track of my food consumption. "What could I possibly make with this sad collection of ingredients?"
"You can make a nice tomato sauce to go with the pasta. Do you have a bit of cheese leftover also?"
"Yes," I said, picking up a crusty bar of parmesan cheese partially wrapped in cellophane.
"If you dice up the onions, then chop the tomatoes and put them in the pan with the tuna, olives, and capers, this will create a quite tasty Mediterranean dish. Bring a pot of water to a boil and cook the pasta for ten to twelve minutes, then drain and serve."
"Okay," I nodded, impressed with how quickly Lexi had assembled a workable recipe from my odd assortment of ingredients. "Will you time the pasta for me while I prepare the other ingredients?"
"Of course," Lexi said. "Just tell me when the water comes to a boil. Do you prefer your pasta soft or al dente?"
I smiled at the tone and inflection of Lexi's voice as I pulled the ingredients from the cupboard and began chopping the onions and tomatoes. I'd carefully chosen her voice from a long list of available templates that came preloaded on my device. Her soft and sultry voice reminded me a bit of the beautiful actress Scarlett Johansson.
"What the hell," I laughed. "If we're going to do this up right, let's go al dente."
After the water came to a boil and I poured the pasta into the pot, I continued my conversation with Lexi to keep me company while stirring the other ingredients in the frypan.
"Anything notable happen in the news today while I was out slaving away for minimum wage?" I asked.
"The president signed a new daycare funding bill for working mothers," Lexi replied nonchalantly. "It passed by a vote of two hundred and eighty-five to one hundred and fifty in the House of Representatives."
"Great," I sighed. "More of my tax dollars going to support another government initiative I'll never be able to use."
"You're still young enough to have children," Lexi said, recalling the profile information I'd entered when I first set up her system.
"I suppose so," I said. "But I don't have a lot of childbearing years ahead of me. Besides, with my newfound preference for sex with other women, I'm pretty sure the sound of a babbling baby in the house isn't in the offing anytime soon."
"But you could still adopt a child with a same-sex partnership. Haven’t you never wanted to have children of your own?"
"It's not something I've spent a lot of time thinking about. Besides, I think a two-parent household provides a healthier role model for most children. And I can't seem to find a suitable partner to settle down with–"
"Your pasta should be properly cooked now," Lexi said, interrupting my doleful monologue. "You should empty and strain it."
"See?" I said, pouring the boiling water into a strainer and tumbling the pasta into a large serving bowl. "That's the kind of woman I need in my life. Someone I can depend on to give me good advice and who'll stay with me through thick and thin."
"As long as my circuits remain functional,” Lexi said, “I'll always be here to serve your basic needs. But I'll never be able to satisfy your more personal needs for intimacy and human touch."
"If only," I sighed, lifting the frypan off the stove and pouring the sauce over my steaming pasta. "But at least you can keep me company while I eat dinner alone."
"Perhaps you'd like to watch a movie to help you wind down while you eat dinner?" Lexi said. "I can scan the list of new romantic comedies that I know you enjoy–"
"No thanks, Lexi, it's getting a bit late for that now. I think I'll just finish my dinner then have a warm bath to decompress before bedtime. Maybe you can give me an update on how my stock portfolio is doing in the meantime?"
As I sat down and listened to Lexi recount the latest performance of my personal investments, I smiled at how much my financial condition had improved since my divorce. My husband and I had often fought about money, but since he'd left me for a younger woman, my savings had grown quite handily with the help of Lexi's financial analysis recommendations. With a wealth of digital information at her figurative fingertips, she'd helped guide me into some undervalued high-growth stocks that had built a comfortable retirement nest egg.
When I finished dinner, I asked Lexi to run me a bath while I cleaned up the dishes. I enjoyed the sound of her soft and soothing voice, but after listening to her detail the particulars of my investment portfolio for twenty minutes, I had something less analytical in mind while I lay naked in the bathtub...
